Weird Ass
Song YOU should be listening to: "Breathing Light" by Nitin Sawhney.
A very dramatic piece of music. I enjoy it so much that as I was writing this piece my RA knocked on my door to tell me to turn it down. I really think this song should be in a movie sometime. It's moving. Well, at least to me. Anyhow, I have to thank my sources on this one. Tom Lindsay (sp?) and then through Andy Ferron. Thanks guys. Great compilation of musik.
On to other things. I want to inform all once again that they are more than welcome to put any comments, thoughts, or questions up on the comment board. I like to know what people think about life. Anyhow. Not to overkill, but I just wanted to add a question referring to my last post.
Does anyone think there might be a strong correlation between people in traditional relationships (Cinderella story) and how respected the Cinderella type in the relationship is? I think this might also be why this Cinderella's hearts are being broken. You're finding yourself with a complete jackass. Not in all cases, but I could see it happening this way in those kinds of relationships. I just don't see any reason for any female to belittle themselves. In that way most males know they can just control you. And why not? Seems as though you're asking for it anyhow. Not that I'm a male supremacist, nor am I a feminist. Just a big equalist. Essentially, just another thought as to why we need to have romance evolve.
Sorry to overkill on this thought, but it's what's around me. So I need to vent out my thoughts.
Enjoy your weekend all. I hope that it goes well for all of you.
Peace.
posted by Taye Povs at 9:35 PM
8 Comments:
I've thought about your comments concerning the "Cinderella" type of relationships for a while. I tend to think that those who settle into the mindframe of this type of relationship may be ones who are more of the lazy type. It almost seems like these people are letting others direct the path of their love life.
Of the "non-Cinderella" type relationships I've had, I have always noticed my significant other is someone who is hungry and driven for success. This is someone who doesn't sit back on her butt and let success come to her, but she is one who independent and a real go getter.
I'm not saying that we should go out and search under every rock for our true love, but at least get out there and open yourself up to world. Don't settle for the Cinderella type of relationship. The more movies I see of that stature on TV, the more I want to hurl.
Bottom line: You are the one in charge of yourself.
Hope this makes sense. I'm not great with words. I'll probably start a fire with these thoughts. We'll see.
Johnny
I am not sure if I would call all traditional relationships cinderella stories. Also, by strong correlation I assume you mean a strong negative correlation, being that the more traditional the relationship is the less respected the female is. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and I am sure a lot of the traditionalist type males don't think they are being jackasses by taking a dominant role in the relationship. That said, that very well may be the case, although I doubt it. Also, this is difficult to generalize, since some people, and therefore some females, work better in a submissive role. I assume there are a few case studies that have been occuring in your life since this seems to be a concern for you. Using a case study in my life, My sister and her husband have a more traditional relationship that is fantastic.
I think if we were to make a scatterplot of this phenomenon, it wouldn't show much. Some people are going to fantastic in a traditional relationship, some people are not going to, some people are going to fantastic in a modern relationship, some are not. As far as the level of respect for the female goes, I think that will be correlated with the success of the relationship, not whether it is traditional or modern. I highly doubt any correlation between relationship success and traditional/modern. I also highly doubt a correlation between traditional/modern and respect for female.
Did you read my Valentine's day post? I went over a lot of the things that people do wrong in marraiges/relationships. One of those is too much focus on the notion of being in love rather than the practical aspects and commitment. Passion, intimacy, and commitment are all necessary for a good relationship. Also practical aspects such as finances and logistics must be considered.
I think that the type of relationships you are addressing are on the far end of the tradionalist spectrum, and of course anything to close to either flank is not going to work.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Also, your time zone needs correction.
As for your question on whether the cinderella type girl is less respected in a traditional relationship, I think that this is not the case. However sometimes there is concern about whether the male in the relationship is putting the female upon an unnecessary pedestal.
Recently, I have oberserved two relationships where the male placed the female in a cinderella type of position, that she did not want to be in. It seems that social norms have taught these males (and not the females) that their relationship needed to be in a more cinderlla type of role, creating massive expectations and pressure that the male was self-inflicting upon himself. Both of these males felt the need to be a type of prince charming and shower their girlfriend with gifts/corny lines/love poems and things of the like.
In both relationships that I observed this led to the rejection of the male by the female with stated reason that the male was "fake" or doing these actions out of social norms and not truly out of what comes from the heart. Hence, I believe that it is only a fraction of both the males and the females that are effected by this social norm called the Cinderella Syndrome. If there is an imbalance in the expectations of the relationship (i.e. when one partner wants a traditional relationship, while the other one doesn't), it may be time for these couples to re-evaluate things and search for a different partner who has the same needs/desires as themselves.
--Rachel
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nice to see people puttin out here. Good good.
Time for me to comment. I think I need to be a little more specific in these posts. I think I generalize too easily.
First off I would like to welcome Rachel Rokser PA I to the comment board. As always, here at The Doug Mello Chronicles, we feel the more input, the more efficient the conclusions are. I tend to jump to quite a many before thinking about other sides of the equation. On we go.
I agree with you Janssen when you say that there are some people that operate better in the submissive role. That is who they are and this traditional format may work better for them. But I think I'm failing to exemplify what specific situation I'm trying to poke at. At this time I would like to exemplify a particular area for females. Feminsts. I think there are a good number of feminists out there who are quite hippocritical in the way they run their romantic life. They want the udder most respect from males like any feminist would. However, they were taught growing up that a traditional relationship was how things are supposed to work. Once they are courted by a male properly in a traditional manner, they expect him to run the romance. It seems rather odd that in this aspect of some feminists' lives they expect the male to run this part of their life. Is this a component of feminists' beilefs? Does anybody know? Seems quite odd.
Anyhow, that was a random though. You're right Janssen about my intention being for a negative correlation. Thank you for the correction. But now that I've slept on it for a night I realize that indeed, as you say, if we made a scatter plot it would be, well, scattered to say the least. A plot that would be difficult to make a good linear regression for. Because I forget about these Cinderella relationships that not only have the male feeling as though they are the superior in the relationship. We do also have the traditional relationships on the other side of the spectrum where the guy showers the girl with everything in the whole world. Guys who indeed think there girlfriend is their lord and saviour and could not live a minute in the world if they ever left them. And then in the middle of the plot we have those who work out well in this type of relationship. I would like to clarify that I do not have anything against those who have relationships that run well under these standards. This is the way that both people want their relationship to be. I just think that there might be some out there that think this is right route for them, but really they might need to seek an alternate route. Just a thought.
Rachel. I agree with you when you say that there are males out there that have been conditioned to believe they need to shower their girlfriends with gifts and fancy complements. This is one part I left out of the equation in my original post. Not only are females conditioned to believe in these gift showering-relationships, but many males are as well. The media indeed teaches us all from the start that chocolates, roses, guitar playing, and such is the best way to get a girl. And that girls indeed want this and only this. It's a mistake on both genders' part. But like Janssen said in the beginning, the world would indeed run a hell of a lot better on the commodity of honesty. If you make your tastes clear in the beginning, it keeps things a lot simpler. Couldn't agree with my brother more when I think that guys who go for the traditional relationship who are under the stipulation that chocolates and roses are what the relationship is based upon. And girls who only seek these materialistic items aren't really soul searching either, they are surfing pedestals to find the highest one.
Welcome to the board Taryn. Thank you for commenting. I enjoy hearing everyone's thoughts.
Anyhow, as you say about statistical love, and unmeasurable love is something to consider. But I think you must also consider that love can be measured with practicality and logistics. This measure of logic in a relationship is just as important as unmeasurable (priceless) "true love" is.
Post a Comment
<< Home